"I attended the meeting of the DPA [Drug Policy Alliance] in New Orleans last December. 1,200 Participants, 1,000 lunatics, 200 good people to talk to.
The other ones were obviously on drugs."

Jesus H. Christ—what a scene that would have been.

A feeding frenzy for the reformers, politicians like this don't normally respond very well to fact and reason (but this is common knowledge I'm sure). This was Mr. Costa's personal Zombie Apocalypse. Standing on the tallest table, beating off the vile potheads with anything in sight. Kill the body and the head will die never applies to zombies, but that is neither here nor there. What really terrifies me isn't the zombies (not at the moment at least), it's what Costa's definition of "good people to talk to" is. When individual narrow-minded people begin to meld into groups, all sense of logic and reasoning seems to be sucked out of their immediate area. I imagine he tried to use them as human shields, grabbing the nearest straight-backed Republican in a desperate attempt to shift his focus every time a "Marijuana Addict" approached him about anything, trying and failing to get back to a subject matter he could pretend to be authoritative on.

If anything needs to be outlawed and completely restricted, it's alcohol. The fewer smashed people calling my phone, the better. I think the world would be a far more peaceful place.

Funny world though, when legitimate fact can be dismissed as simply "the collective bullshit of a bunch of longhairs hopped up on goofballs and Maui Sauce." I suppose it's still a far shot better than being stoned (not that kind of stoned) to death for telling people the Earth isn't flat.

What are we up to now? Billions of dollars a year to fund a War on something that is a non-issue. But these lawmakers stole a book out of every pot grower's bible–the stronger and deeper the roots run, the more successful the yield. So much outside interest is tied into this "war" that it makes the horrific, monstrous plant almost unmovable with anything short of a wad of C-4. Privatized prisons rely on small-time, non-violent, dealers and casual users to beef up their inmate count to justify more funding. $4 Million dollars are being invested into a "Research Center for Cannabis Addiction" or some sort of oxymoron to that extent. What a Cadillac job that must be, being paid copious amounts of money to study nothing. Police need these arrests and seizures to either a) Increase an officer's performance rating, b) justify requesting equipment and vehicles that aren't necessary, and c) just add to the Police Forces' funds.

Here's an idea: make an officer's performance based on his ability to actually enforce the law, instead of having to prey upon the civilian masses to get promoted. Maybe all these privatized prisons wouldn't be necessary if you just arrested the violent criminals instead of productive members of society that grow a plant or two and perhaps sell some to friends to help get by and to avoid dealing with black market operations. By default, the court system would instantly see an end to congestion, billions will be saved in legal fees and labour in all fields. Control of marijuana would be out of the hands of gangs and real criminals and in the hands of compassionate contemporary hippies with nothing but a desire to grow the most beautiful buds in town. This makes it possible to run a police force built upon upholding the laws that make this nation work. Thomas Jefferson must be puking in his grave right now, possible spinning at a high rate as well.

I have always asserted the notion, that the craziest people in the world (as well as a vast majority of the general crazies) have never even touched anything worse than a beer while years of gobbling acid and speed will cause an eventual severing of the thin thread that ties us to reality. But if that thread is never stretched out every now and then it becomes brittle and frayed. Sometimes the string becomes so stiff and rigid it turns into dust at the slightest touch, and the same effect is achieved.

Case and point? Perhaps that one backwards elitist organization, like Catholicism, or maybe Scientology? It's a toss up really. I can't decide which sounds crazier, an alien overlord killing billions of people by placing hydrogen bombs in volcanoes (not the vaporizing kind), dooming all creatures in the universe to be possessed by their malicious spirits. And a magical bearded old white man determining every action and consequence in the universe, being infallible, Omnipotent, and Omniscient, and yet still being insecure enough to demand worship.

It's late and I'm about to run off an a tangent I'd rather not get into, I'm in no shape to write a novel at this hour. The last thought I have is an image of Mr. Costa standing outside a great set of double doors before the meeting, a man willingly being thrown into a tank full of starving piranhas. Exhaling one last time, before taking one last deep breath. That's a good comparison, I think. Because any Marijuana Law Reform activists' hunger for justice won't be sated until these ignorant solipsists are exiled from their positions and forced to work the low-end jobs they've forced many an unfairly punished potheads into. Many places don't look kindly on drug charges, even unjust ones.

The fish got to nibble on Costa, the scent of blood is in the water, and all of us piranhas haven't had a decent meal in over 70 years.

       

Written by :

James Pattani